Why a night away with your husband will RENEW YOU!

Are you one of those mommies who in that “text book” way has completely forgot what the pain of labor was like? The lapse of time has made you naturally forget, but perhaps some of you remembered rather quickly when had your second child.

I use the above as a metaphor (in an opposite way) for how quickly you might forget the absolute necessity of a night away with your husband until you actually go away.  And for some of you it may be weeks, months, or dare I say even years since the two of you spent the night alone with NO ONE ELSE AROUND.  This means: no kids, no pets, no loud neighbors, no friends – no one except YOU and HIM.

When WAS the last time you did this?

I will share with you from personal experience as to why I insist that this subject matter be on your frontal lobe:  In honor of our anniversary, my husband and I decided last minute to book a night away outside of L.A.  The grandparents were willing to come and be with the kids at our home.  So this meant that we only needed to pack for ourselves and I needed to type up a sheet with minor instructions re: the kids.

Sounds simple, right? You would think so.

I humored myself the night before we left, because my fatigue level was so high that even the idea of typing up ONE sentence and packing up my toothbrush felt like too much.  I actually thought, “Maybe we should just stay at home and make it easy.”  Well, thank “WHATEVER” that the other side of my brain said, “Uhhhhh…NO. You’re packing, you’re going, the end.”  And the next morning, we did.

Was I ready to fall asleep in the car the moment my husband and I drove out of our driveway? Yes.

But about a half an hour into the drive, I actually felt my body begin to relax.  The idea of not having to tend to ANYONE except myself and enjoying my husband’s company began to feel very inviting.

By the time we reached the hotel, it was as if this euphoric feeling had taken over my body. I was remembering how GOOD it felt to be away with my husband, where I could relax without responsibility.  My brain literally felt so light, that I was afraid my head was going to float away.

For the next 24 hours, I was reminded of how easy life can actually feel.  My husband and I sat out on the balcony of our hotel room, sipping a bottle of wine and just talked, laughed, at some points just said nothing (and when you have kids that can be a divine thing), read magazines and talked more without ANY interruptions.

It was absolute heaven.

We even watched a wedding that took place in the courtyard of the hotel which our balcony over looked.  After a couple glasses of wine, even the comedic parts of us took over as we made up our own little commentary of “what not to wear” at a wedding.  Being silly together (without kids) was back. The words “mommy, daddy, NO, I don’t wanna, I want THIS” was nowhere to be found and it was the most peaceful feeling throughout that evening and into the next day.

All in all, it was a fantastic, well needed get-away where we kept saying to each other, “Why haven’t we done this sooner?”

Why? Because life gets in the way, and we get lazy and we don’t make these get-a-ways a priority in our marriage.

The icing on the cake was that when we arrived home the next day, I was not only excited to see my kids, but I had so much more patience for them and they could sense it too.  Both parents felt more connected plus mommy felt rested and that equaled two happy kids.

So my question to you is: Are you putting off planning an overnight with your husband?   If you are, then NO MORE EXCUSES.  Pick a place.  Make a reservation.  I don’t care if it’s even a Motel 6.  Just do it and I think you just might thank me.

Carin Goldstein is a wife, a mother, and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 10 years of experience in helping people to improve the quality of their lives. She also blogs at Be The Smart Wife.

photo credit: …-Wink-…