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“Anything I’ve ever done
that ultimately was worthwhile…
initially scared me to death.”
~Betty Bender
With a combination of conviction and a tender voice, my son looked into my eyes last night and said…
“Mommy, I’m afraid of the tooth fairy.”
Although he is 1-2 years from losing his first tooth, I asked him to explain. From his innocence, this is what I heard…
“I’m afraid of the tooth fairy. Please don’t let him into my room. How does he know when I lose my teeth? How does he get into my room? Is he going to make slow creepy noises next to my bed? Can you stop the tooth fairy from coming mommy? I don’t want his money. I just want to keep him out of my room.”
His fear eventually settled when I told him, when the day comes, I’ll ask the tooth fairy not to visit our house and I will exchange his teeth for money instead. He still isn’t sure how I am going to contact the tooth fairy, but he’s happy to know a small flying tooth hungry fairy won’t be visiting his room.
My son’s fear of the unknown and his fear of something that doesn’t even exist made me question…
Am I fearful of things that don’t exist?
And are these fears holding me back?
I suppose this is when I admit, with conviction and a tender voice, that I am still afraid of the boogeyman.
I still hate basements (a perfect boogeyman hideout), I still need someone to be on the phone with me when I’m walking into my house all alone (the boogeyman loves to jump out underneath dark quite cars), and I still leave extra lights on around the house when my husband is on an overnight business trip (extra lights keep the boogeyman out at sea).
Why have I settled for allowing this fear to live inside my head?
Maybe I need to invite the boogeyman over for tea and settle this once and for all.
Fabulous Comment Questions for Today….
- Are you fearful of things that don’t exist?
- Are these fears holding you back?
- Do you challenge your fears?
- Do you accommodate your fears?
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[…] Hoffer Weckstein presents I’m Afraid of the Tooth Fairy posted at createabalance.com, saying, “Join the conversation. Are you fearful of things that […]
I like how you turn a fear about tooth fairies to asking us important questions about our irrational fears. Silly as it seems, I also have a fear about the dark. My fear has largely been reduced but there is still something that keeps me from venturing beyond my bedroom for a glass of water if I should wake up in the middle of the night.
@Evelyn Lim – It’s amazing how many important life questions stem from things children do and say. I keep a water bottle next to my bed so I don’t have to venture into the kitchen at night.
Hi Stacey,
What great questions. I think fears hold a lot of us back. We fear failure, and fear success. I try to meet my fears head on, but every once in awhile they still win. I keep working at it though. Once I analyze my fears, that helps to dispel them.
P.S. Thanks for dropping by my blog. 🙂
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Plugins, Questions and Open Mic
Hi there Stacey – I think we need to deal with fears gradually – if we push against them too hard it will only add to our fear.
I had an interesting experience many years ago. I was home alone at night and there was a noise outside, and I felt a wave of fear. I lay down and deliberately allowed myself to feel the fear – and magnified it as much as I could. After a short time a really cold shiver went right through me, and I have virtually never felt fear at that sort of thing since. (I know fear is operating in me on other issues, though.)
@Barbara – Analying your fears is a very brave task. PS > Your blog is a shining resource for all bloggers.
@Robin – I agree that facing fears is a gradual process. I am all about embracing baby steps. Thank you for sharing your intense moment with fear. I think it helps everyone reading this to know we are not alone.
Fear – something I am constantly working through. It does require a slow process to manage them, and I love your final thought “Maybe I should invite the boogeyman over…” I’ve recently uncovered the root of some of my own fears, and wow was it a powerful and freeing experience. I was tired of being held back by them.
Funny what kids teach us, too. I have learned a lot from my niece and nephew in the time I’ve spent with them over the past few months.
@Stacey – Wow. How do you know when you have actually hit the root of your fears?
There were tears streaming from my face. But I assume it will be different for everyone. I’m writing a post about it, probably to be published next week!
I’m thinking on this one today Stacey – and I’m not coming up with any fears of things that don’t exist. And yet, I think they are there. I’ll ponder it over the weekend…
All that said, I do have fears. Like fear of failure. That’s a big one that sometimes holds me back. I have been trying to challenge this fear. And for me, it helps when I step outside of my comfort zone. So, I’m trying to do that more often. And realize that if I fail, I should see that not as an end, but as a learning experience that I can grow from. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it…
Lances last blog post..Dreams For Our World
I’m afraid of the dark.
I do accommodate my fear to some extent, but it doesn’t really interfere with working or socializing, so I don’t feel it holds me back.
Vereds last blog post..Would You Eat Spicy Chocolate?
@Stacey – Have you ever heard of the native american proverb “The soul would have no rainbow if the eye had no tears.” It seems fitting.
@Lance – I can relate to crushing fear by being out of our comfort zones. There is something to be said for just “going for it”. When I put myself out there the fear energy almost instantly converts into exciting vibrant energy. It’s exhilarating bliss. My primary fears are fears of being physically hurt. And my “go for it” mentality doesn’t seem to apply here.
@Vered – I hear you. I accommodate my fear of the dark too.
Stacey / CreateaBalances last blog post..I’m Afraid of the Tooth Fairy
Our fears hold us back from achieving what we want in life. We are afraid to fail, we are afraid to be laughed at and so forth. When we live in fear we cannot experience our full potential:
Dorothy Thompson: Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.
I find questioning myself, ‘What is the worst that can happen?’ actually reveals to me that there is nothing to fear after all. Whatever your fears are, just go ahead and do whatever you want to do. Yes, just go ahead. What is the worst that can happen?
I love the idea of inviting the boogeyman over and challenging him to armwrestle. (Well, I’d prefer to thumbwrestle, but you know boogeymen…)
I think identifying our fears is vital. So many times, we fear nothing specific, just the idea that something could go wrong. This doesn’t give us any concrete action to take to get over it.
However, that doesn’t make me more comfortable killing spiders. Think they’ll thumbwrestle?
Sara at On Simplicitys last blog post..Three Things You’d Save in an Emergency
@ Rarestone – Great quote. Maybe that’s why when I push past my fears is when I feel the most alive!
@Sara – Thanks for joining the discussion. I agree that concrete actions are very important.
Stacey, that’s awesome you can fear energy into vibrant energy! That sounds like a great place to be. I’m getting closer….
But back to the original question, the one I was to ponder over the weekend…
It’s still hard for me to believe, but I was visiting my parents this weekend, and we went out for lunch at this small place out in the middle of the countryside. On the way home, we took a different route past the place where my late uncle used to live (and we would visit when I was a child). It has been nearly 15 years since I have been past there. And after we went past, we came to a woods. And that triggered it. These were the woods that my sister and I always believed was where Bigfoot lived. And, in fact, as I was telling my kids about this as we drove past on Saturday, the thoughts came back again. Not as strong, but still, they were there. Was there something in those woods? I’ve never thought that about any other forest I’ve went by or been in.
A few minutes after we passed through this area, I thought – aha! This is exactly what Stacey is talking about. And what does it mean to me? Maybe it’s a fear of not knowing. Of not knowing what’s out there that we can’t see. Is that a literal fear that holds me back today? It might be. I think many might fear what they don’t know, myself included. Like the Bigfoot I never saw, but still feared as a child – what the the Bigfoot’s in my life today that keep me from stepping into the forest of life? I have to ponder some more…
Lances last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day
powerful stuff (she says never once thinking her almost3yearold could be afraid of the tooth fairy!).
and Im gonna sit with that today.
all day.
am I afraid of things will dont exist.
MizFits last blog post..Labor(ing? less?) Day Monday.
@Lance – I can’t always transforms fear into vibrant energy. This manifests the most when I share my artwork and my thoughts on this blog to others instead of being afraid of being judged. A sincere thank you for sharing your Bigfoot story. Isn’t it amazing what lurks in the corner of our minds? I love how you ask about what are the Bigfoots in your life today that keep you from stepping into the forest of life. I’ll be pondering some more too…
@MizFit – Thanks for sharing. Let us know what you come up with…
Other than some of the more common fears (heights, etc.) I think I’m afraid of the “what ifs”, mostly around not trying for fear of failing, that kind of thing. And I do think it holds me back sometimes, though I’m working on it!
Ann at One Bag Nations last blog post..One Bag Nation Turns 100
@Ann – Please share any insights you find as you work on letting go of what is holding you back.
Hi,I’m a Certified Dental Assistant and the Toothfairy Online.
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Good-bye, gotta fly!
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Does anybody know what the fear of the tooth fairy is called; what the phobia is?