Thriving During Separation

This is an original post written by contributing writer Dawna from Hiccups in Time.

I have been a military wife from the moment that I said “I do”, and while I can say that I am more fortunate than some spouses when it comes to separation, I have still had my share over the years.

Separation is never easy, especially when your loved one is placed in harm’s way.  But, one thing that I have learned over the most recent years is that a situation is what you make of it.  If your significant other is away, rather than mourning his/her absence, try looking at it as a time for you.

Oh, for certain, it is not the easiest thing to do, especially if their absence means more work for you in the end.  I know this well.  With three kids, one of preschool age, and my “back up” gone, it does tend to make things more difficult for me.  But, I do find time for myself, whether in the early morning or evening, because I have come to know how imperative it can be.

One of the most well meaning pieces of advice that I have heard go around with regard to separation is “keep yourself busy”.  Indeed, a good piece of advice in my opinion, but one that I feel ought to be expanded upon a bit.

“Keep yourself busy with things that feed your soul.”

While it may be all well and good to fill up another box on the calendar and keep yourself so busy that you barely even notice that your significant other is not there, it can severely deplete your energy.  The lower we become energetically, the more we leave ourselves open to emotional lows, as well as illness.  Simply doing something for the sake of having something to do, is not enough, in my experience, and in the end, can do more harm than good.

As spouses and moms – military or not – we all need some time to focus on those things that bring us joy and growth as individuals.  Consider all the things you liked to do prior to becoming a spouse and mom.  Is there something that you have wanted to learn over the years, but just haven’t had the time?  Use the spare time you are given during separation to explore yourself as a person.  In my experience, it can make all the difference between making it through the separation well and not.

Dawna, a story teller by nature, has many tales to tell – some hilarious, some heartbreaking – and has, likely, been writing them down since she was first able to form a sentence.  A stay-at-home-mom and military spouse of 19+ years, she is still relatively new to the blogosphere.  Her blog, Hiccups In Time, was born not only as a way for her to connect with others and share her unique experiences, but to offer encouragement through her stories for those facing similar situations such as the challenges of motherhood and deployment.