As a mom, are you on the journey of practicing the art of life balance? If yes, where does your body fall into your life balance journey? It is my goal (or dream) to fully incorporate my fitness goals into my practice of life balance. To date, my fitness goals come and go. Once I’m finally going strong with my fitness goals something eventually comes along to through me off kilter. I suppose that is the beauty of life balance.
I appreciate this guest post because my body was a total disaster after my two ten pound boys and like Anastasiya, I also had (and still have) diastasis, which is an abdominal separation that makes me still look pregnant after 3+ years after delivering my youngest son.
This is a guest post from Anastasiya from Balance in Me.
Being a balanced mom is a complicated science that requires a lot of work and strong will. I can confess that it took me quite a while to get anywhere close to being a balanced mom and I am still learning and working towards this goal. If somebody asked me ‘What was the most difficult part on your way to a balanced mom?” I would have to answer “Finding my balanced body.”
I know there are things more important than looks in life. I know that some of you might think that I am shallow and ungrateful for the wonderful gift of motherhood. But hey, I am just a woman and I am sure that each of you ladies reading this post is as much a woman as she is a mom. It is our nature to want to look good, to be attractive, to be sexy and flirty, to love and to be loved. This is the exact reason why having a balanced beautiful body is something that we just can’t live without. It is an essential component of a balanced life.
When I found out that I was pregnant with twins I was extremely happy and scared at the same time. My biggest fear was my body. I’ve spent YEARS chiseling my body like an artist chisels his or her sculpture. I finally got to the point when I was completely satisfied with what I had and then I got pregnant with twins. Oy!
I was terrified of what could happen to my body during and after the pregnancy! I had a few fights with my weight in the past and every time that I was out of shape my life was completely out of balance. I was a physical and emotional wreck who was as far away from her inner balance as a cow is far from flying. Working as a fitness instructor I heard about a hundred “pregnancy horror stories”. Every other woman who came to my class said that she gained weight during or after the pregnancy and after that she never had the time or luck to lose that weight and to get back in shape.
Well, unfortunately my worst dreams came true. No, I didn’t gain a lot of weight (20 pounds is really not such a big deal) but I developed these awful stretch marks all over my belly and my belly skin started to look like an empty potato sack. To top it all off diastasis (abdominal separation that makes you look like you are 5 months pregnant all year round) made my abs so weak that I could not do a single sit-up!!! (after doing at least a hundred in one workout before my pregnancy). New body, new responsibilities, new chores, new sleep schedule (more like no-sleep schedule), new life – it was too much to embrace at one moment. No matter how happy I was to have my sweet little girls, my life was so out of balance that depression started creeping up on me.
I know that one of the common ideas about motherhood is that you have to give up a lot, change a lot and not gain anything back. Motherhood has become an excuse for people being in bad shape, having poor health habits, extra weight and no exercise. Today, almost a year and a half after my girls were born, I can say that I have never been in better shape than I am now and motherhood was actually what brought me here.
Yes, I still have certain areas of my body that I am not particularly proud of (I can forget about a bikini because of those stretch marks) but other than that I can say that my body is completely balanced.
Motherhood taught me a lot in life and every day it keeps throwing new life lessons at me (sometimes I wish I could take a break from this education though :-)) . I know there is still a lot for me to learn but the art of a balanced body is a lesson learned for me. Here is what helped me find my balanced body.
Accepting Your Body
I think it was the most difficult part for me. After the pregnancy I could not believe my reflection in the mirror – I was a completely different person and none of these changes were positive. I was constantly complaining about my body and those belly stretch marks and to tell you the truth it didn’t do me any good. No matter how you want to change, get back to your pre-pregnancy body, lose that weight – it won’t happen overnight. You have to be grateful for being a mom and you must be thankful for your body that is able to nurture your baby (or babies in my case) for 9 months and then bring this miracle into our world (I bet most men wouldn’t be able even to get past the first few months of morning sickness!)
Having a beautiful sexy body when you are 18 is easy, but having a gorgeous body after having a baby is a real feat! Always remember it when you are on your way to a balanced body and use it as your motto and road map in life. You need to accept the fact that you are a mom now and you must be proud of your body because it has done what was needed to bring a beautiful child (or children) into the world.
Discipline
Before I became a mom I never completely understood the meaning of discipline and I never appreciated it as much as I do now. Exercising at home was taboo for me (it’s just so boring, right?). I never thought that I could get a great body by working out ONLY at home (I am so glad I was wrong though). It takes some time to form the habit of working out at home but once you are over that initial period you have a huge array of activities that are possible. No matter how old your babies are you can still find some time to be alone for 30 minutes (when they sleep, when they are at school, when your husband plays with them outside or when they are preoccupied with that new toy that you’ve gotten them). Use this time to squeeze in a short workout because 30 minutes every day is all you need for a balanced body. My personal fitness preferences are a mix of Pilates, Yoga and running. I’ve tried a lot of different things in the past but these three workouts have done miracles for me!
Find Your “Miracle Workout”
One of the secrets to being disciplined in working out at home is to find your “miracle workout.” This is not a workout that will make you lose weight fast or get rid of that belly flab in just a week. A “miracle workout” is a workout that makes you feel happy, that makes you look forward to your workout and that makes your body feel great. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Pilates, Yoga and running are my miracle workouts. Today you can try about a hundred different workouts without even leaving the house (say thanks to YouTube) and I am sure you can find at least something that you will like. Or you can try to use my way of getting in shape – who knows, maybe it will be your miracle workout too!
Use Your Everyday Activities to Get More Exercise
When my babies were little I used to exercise with them. I’d put them on my stomach when I was doing sit-ups, I’d hold them in my hands while doing squats and lunges. All three of us were having a really good time working out together so the excuse “I can’t leave my baby for the sake of exercise” does not fly with me.
Walking with the babies is another great way to bring some exercise into your life. Pushing that double stroller uphill is a really good workout for my entire body (I still remember the way I felt after my first walk with them. My entire body ached as if I were lifting weights at the gym all night:-)). I am sure that as my girls get older I will find even more activities that will keep all three of us busy.
And by the way, my arms have never been so ripped before in my life thanks to lifting 25 pounds in each hand every day. Baby-lifting should be a new sport actually.
Watch What You Eat
The very idea of a diet makes my stomach turn now. I have tried so many diets as a teenager that I am completely sick of them now. When I realized that I had to lose weight my bet was on balanced nutrition and moderate portions. I will confess that it took me almost a year to lose 20 pounds but I am satisfied with this result. I am not going to gain it back a week after I stop dieting (that’s exactly what I did as a teenager) because my diet is my lifestyle. It’s not a rocket science: plenty of vegetables and fruit, lean protein, a lot of whole grains and legumes (peas, beans, etc.) and a very moderate consumption of sweets. One of the best eating habits that I’ve developed over the years is not drinking sweet drinks.
I was shocked when I realized that you usually consume about 500 extra calories with sweet drinks during the day. Cut them out and you will lose 1 pound a week without any other efforts. I do have a small glass of juice a few times a week, but other than that I drink plenty of water, unsweetened tea and black coffee. Balanced nutrition is a separate topic that requires much more attention than these few sentences but I hope that you got the point.
Go Slow
I guess the biggest mistake that most women make is that they want to see results immediately. When you see something that you do not like about yourself you just want to get rid of it. When I saw myself after the delivery I thought I looked like a train wreck. Unfortunately, it was my reality and I had to accept that and to get ready to do something about it. Your body is exhausted after pregnancy and that is why you should give it some rest, listen to it and cooperate with it. Any changes that you make must be slow and graduate, any exercise that you add must be realistic and comfortable for you. If you try too hard and too fast then all your efforts will backfire on you and you will end up in a worse physical and emotional state than you’ve started in.
From my point of view the best way is to make 1 or 2 changes a week. For example, the first week cut down your food intake by 20% (yes, you can skip that evening ice-cream too by the way) and add morning exercises. The second week you can try to drink unsweetened tea and add 1 or 2 light jogs or light walks during the week. Continue experimenting until you are completely satisfied with your balanced lifestyle and your balanced body!
To sum it all up I just want to say that motherhood is not the time to forget about a gorgeous body, it’s the time to celebrate and praise it! It’s the time to be grateful for what your body has done for you, for your baby and for the world. A woman’s body is created for motherhood and only motherhood can make it balanced from my point of view. Enjoy this time in your life, keep a smile on your face and as always remember to…
Keep it balanced!
This is Your Moment
In the comment section, let us know how you are working towards your balanced body. What are your challenges? What’s working for you?
Read more from Anastasiya at her blog Balance in Me. If you enjoyed this post, follow her on Twitter.
Hi Stacey, thanks for sharing this story with us.
Hi Anastasiya. I think you are right: every mom can find something to relate to in your story. I have 2 boys who are 3 and 1 and a half and had a similar storyline. I started running and with baby one was running with the stroller. After baby 2, that became a challenge. I was much more tired and running with a stroller plus a toddler is simply not possible. So I started running in the evenings on the threadmill at home, but figured that that was just no fun at all. So I ‘gave up’ temporarily. How I am working 80% and have found the time to go running over lunchbreak. That is the perfect solution for me. Daylight, out in the woods. It is fun and that is the most important.
My body is not back to what it looked like before pregnancy and I know it never will and I am fine with that.
your body is all about acceptance and attitude. You should not be too hard on yourself and set achievable goals, otherwise you get demotivated too quickly.
And you need a supporting husband – that always helps.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Mimi
Thank you Stacey for publishing my story and thank you Mimi for your comment. I really appreciate being on the pages of Create a Balance because I consider this blog a very inspiring resource for all moms.
As a mom now I understand how fragile the inner and outer balance can be. I really think we should try our best to do whatever we can to preserve this balance otherwise not only our looks will suffer but also the most important family balance.
For me, balance has been about learning what I need, not what the world needs or what I think others expect of me. My morning meditation, yoga, and elliptical a few times a week really has been monumental in helping me to feel good both inside and out. I often think of what my body would be like if I had a personal trainer and perhaps more time, but I am just grateful to have what I have given that I am a part time physician and have an almost 4 year old daughter.
For years, so much guilt got in the way of my need to pursue my passions. Now, I can clearly see that I am not full to give to anyone unless I maintain some boundaries and self care.
Thanks for your reflections.
Mimi – Moving with two children is definitely more difficult than with just one. Lunch break workouts work best for me too (except when work gets too busy). I also agree that if you are married, a supportive husband is essential so you can carve out time to take care of yourself without guilt.
Anastasiya – Thank you for sharing your story. I firming believe their is power in numbers. The more stories we can get from as many moms as possible on CreateaBalance.com the more powerful and uplifting this blog can be. Cheers to you and your honesty about balancing life as a mommy.
Mermaid – It sounds as if you are listening to your authentic self! Hooray for Mermaid! Morning meditation and yoga have done wonders for me too. The more I do it, the more my mantras are staying with me throughout the day.
“I am not full to give to anyone unless I maintain some boundaries and self care.” – Your quote is simply priceless.
Oooh! I looove the idea of finding your miracle workout. I’m not a mom, but I definitely have a hard time looking forward to a work out if it doesn’t make me feel good and happy. That’s why I try to switch things up a lot, not to get bored. 😉
Great ideas, from great moms. 🙂
@Nathalie
I am glad you liked this “miracle” workout idea. I personally tried a lot of things before I found what my body likes. I was a fitness instructor and as you can imagine I tried it all 🙂 I realized that when you find the right workout for you then you just stop trying everything else, you just don’t need anything else. As I’ve mentioned in the post right now I am absolutely happy with running, Pilates and yoga. If you are interested to see some of my workouts then feel free to visit http://www.balanceinme.com Right now I am working on a few exercise videos that will be published somewhere during the next two weeks.
“A “miracle workout” is a workout that makes you feel happy, that makes you look forward to your workout and that makes your body feel great.” – I love this – we need to find the exercise we ENJOY! (and works). I find walking and doing salutes to the sun (a yoga move) to be my miracle workout – though things have been a bit slow lately ;=) A few women around here go jogging pushing their babies in prams and pushers – and maybe have the dog along as well!
Nathalie – I also need to switch up my workout so I don’t get bored.
Anastasiya – Thanks again for being you and sharing your voice.
Robin – Enjoy your pace and the workout that is right for you and your body.
I was lucky to have a normal delivery and not go through the ceasarian. That helped in quick recovery and body shape as earlier. I know that women want to see results immediately for any body exercise. After delivery, you have to give time to body to get back in shape. After all it has been through a slow process of stretching and immediate effects can only ruin the body process. Yes, Wallking and taking baby in prams can help a lot in exercise.