ThinkMaya’s recent post about her Thinkmaya framework for happiness and balance made me realize that my life balance process and philosophy is actually my own framework for how I create a balance in my life.
I think many (if not most) people think of life balance as “Work/Life Balance”. This is not my definition and it is not the purpose of my Create a Balance blog.
My life balance process (or framework) revolves around balancing YOU and THE DEMANDS IN YOUR LIFE.
By YOU I mean your sense of self, your needs, and your passions.
By THE DEMANDS IN YOUR LIFE I mean all of the other roles you play in addition to just being YOU (employee, mom, dad, wife, husband, daughter, son, friend, chauffeur, maid, chef, etc) and the demands that these additional roles have on your life.
Some days these demands can swallow us up. Sometimes, if we are not aware and are not practicing the art of life balance, these demands can swallow us up for hours, days, weeks, months, or even years.
And when this happens, we are drastically increasing our ability to lose our sense of self, our needs, and our passions in the process.
CreateaBalance.com is about helping me and helping others to NOT lose the sense of self, personal needs, and personal passions in the process of meeting the demands in our lives.
There’s more to come relating to my
Create a Balance Process!
I spent the weekend with a dear friend of mine. It was a girls get-a-way filled with the spa, dinner, drinks, and lots of quiet. It was a time to boost and nurture my friendship with KB and I think it is also a great example of how I worked my Create a Balance process…
- Discovering Needs & Passions: One of my needs is to nurture relationships in my life.
- Live with Intention: It is my intention to take one vacation with KB every year.
- Hold Yourself Accountable: KB and I scheduled “phone dates” until all our plans were in place.
- Practice Being Selfish: I removed myself from part of my family vacation to spend time with KB.
- Take Action: We had a girls get-a-way filled with the spa, dinner, drinks, and a quiet hotel retreat.
- Celebrate Your Life: We celebrated our ability to put ourselves first.
- Assess Actions: We remained aware of our other needs and passions while pursuing our goal. We didn’t drink too much (need for monitoring physical well being) and we stayed within budget (need for managing money).
- Share Your Story: I’m blogging about my weekend to remind others that they can discover their needs and passions, live with intention, hold themselves accountable, practice being selfish, take action, and celebrate their own success!
I truly enjoyed my time with KB. Her friendship is a precious gift and I hold our friendship close to my heart. We are both raising families. We are busy. And still, we find time to see each other and laugh about the good old days. About the time when our current demands didn’t exist (we used to be single w/o children). And we also laughed and shared stories about how we are working every day to remain afloat in our current lives.
Carving out time to be with long distant friends is not easy. It is, however, important because it fills me with happiness and allows me to just be me. Keeping my connection with KB nurtures the core of who I am. I know KB wants the best for me; she actively listens and holds me accountable to provide the world with the best possible version of Stacey.
This is your moment!
How do you nurture friendships? Do find it challenging to carve out time to spend with your friends? How do you find the time? What is your ideal friendship get-a-way?
I get to see my closest friends just once a year. I do have other important local friendships, but they’re not as deep as those that go back 20 years or more.
I always make sure I spend uninterrupted time with each of them.
It always feel like we’ve just seen each other last week. 🙂
Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..Thanking My September Top Commentators
It is challenging to find time with friends and especially to coordinate your schedules so that your paths DO cross. My outings lately are very simple due to limited $$$. Yesterday one friend and I shared engaging converation during a walk through the park and while sipping specialty coffees with whipped cream on top. I pick a friend for each week and we actually schedule “appts” with each other.
Davinas last blog post..Creative Luny Landing In The Sand
Stacey,
Thank you so much for the link love. Thank you even more for giving me your perspective and sharing your balance framework.
With little kids in a new place, it gets hard to find time for friends that are mostly far away. At this point, I am mostly nurturing my friendship with myself 🙂 …I am hoping to plan a really nice get away with a couple of my really good friends before the end of the year. And like Vered said, it always feels like I just saw them!
Mayas last blog post..The key to happiness and balance is right with you, just learn to use it – Part 1 of the thinkmaya framework
I have very few people in my life I enjoy spending time with. Because of that I cherish each moment. Sometimes we walk, sometimes we go away for a weekend, sometimes we just meet for drinks and appies. Either way it nourishes me in ways that I don’t get elsewhere. I’m am heading out of town with a friend/colleague at the end of this month to hike and work on our respective work projects – books we are writing separately and one that we may write together.
Her initials were KB until she married…and I’m working on my framework. We should chat.
Stacey Shipmans last blog post..Peace of Mind is Not Far Now
Hi Stacey: I went to a Chinese restaurant with my sister, brother in law, and two little nephews this weekend. I always have the best time with them. I do think my sister needs a break from always looking after her two little boys, but she won’t allow herself one. She’s a fabulous mother, but I think she needs time to relax and just be “Monica” instead of being “mom” 100% of the time. I’m working on it 🙂
Marelisas last blog post..The Hannibal Barca Approach to Achieving Your Goals
@Thoughtful Vered – Two of my “threads” are local for me (friends that go back 20+ years) and I get uninterrupted time with one of them this weekend. I’m happy to hear you find uninterrupted time to spend with each of your “threads”.
@Dancing Davina – It is challenging to find time to be with friends. I remember the days when it was easy. But now it is a challenge. I love the concept of picking a friend for each week. I’m going to work on scheduling some appointments with my local friends.
@Energetic Maya – Thanks again for your thought provoking post. Every few years I have been finding myself in a new place so I understand the challenge of finding new authentic friends. Nurturing your friendship with yourself is wonderful. SARK’s first chapter of her book “Fabulous Friendship Festival” is titled “Self Friendship” and she writes all about being your own best friend.
@Creative Stacey Shipman – KB is actually my friend’s initials until she got married too. Now her initials are officially KE, but she still goes by KB. Small World. Your hiking & writing get-a-way sounds dreamy. And yes, we should chat.
@Caring Marelisa – I know so many moms that won’t grant themselves the gift of taking a break to reconnect with their own sense of self. I want to wrap these women up and shower them with the energy they need to embrace their authentic sense of self, their needs, and their passions.
I have to make time for my friends specially. It’s hard to, given my crazy schedule nowadays. I’d say that I would run to be with them rightaway, if I know that they are in trouble or in need of assistance.
Evelyn Lims last blog post..What Enneagram Profile Type Am I?
Hi Stacey – I don’t see my long-term friends very often. Your story about your get-away is inspiring!
Robins last blog post..Why We Want To Live
@Impressive Evelyn – Thank you for sharing. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who has the challenge of finding time to be with friends.
@Cheerful Robin – I often think back to the day (maybe the 1800s) when people didn’t travel a lot and people didn’t move away from home very often. I picture a world when all of my core friends would have lived in walking distance from me. I dream about an imaginary neighborhood filled with all of my long-term friends. It’s very dreamy.
Work-life balance is certainly the wrong focus, now that you mention it. Life balance, like you said, is what most of us are missing. You and and your friend are lucky to have each other. And what a great reminder that I need to call two of my girlfriends and catch up!
Sara at On Simplicitys last blog post..Simple Sunday #6
Stacey, I like “Dancing Davina”! 🙂 What a cool idea to use adjectives with your readers’ names.
Davinas last blog post..Creative Luny Landing In The Sand
As a practice, I carve time each week to have lunch with a new friend and an old friend. It forces me to expand my network.
@Fortunate Sara – Thanks for the feedback. Friendships are precious gifts we need to nurture.
@Composed Davina – I’m having fun using these affirmative adjectives. I got the idea from SARK.
@Welcoming J.D. – That’s a great idea. I need to invite more new friends over for tea (or lunch).