“…if anyone needed to make time for self-care, it was mothers.”
~ The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal by Renee Peterson Trudeau ~

In life, pain is inevitable, the suffering is optional...Creative Commons License photo credit: tapperboy

When I became a working mom back in 2003, I knew everything was about to change. As I explain on my About page, I knew I had to balance the needs of my inner authentic self with the needs of all the other things that demanded my time, attention, and energy. We didn’t live close to family when my first son was born, so finding alone time for just me or with my husband, was almost impossible.

When I was a new mom, I remember not knowing how to shower when I was alone with my son. I remember losing myself to sleep deprivation. I remember how much my body hurt. I remember it was physically challenging to hold my 10 pound baby for a long period of time. I remember how a simply thing, like leaving the house, turned into a complex project. I remember not finding the time to shower on a regular basis and I remember being too tired to take care of myself.

On page two of The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal, Renee Peterson Trudeau writes about becoming “aware of how little we cared for ourselves (especially in relation to how much energy we give our children) and how changed and disconnected most of us felt from ourselves after becoming parents. Whether this question of identity lasts until your child turns six months old or continues into the high school years, mothers everywhere are wondering, Now who am I?”

The moment I met my oldest son Benjamin I know I had to figure out who I was now that I was also a mom. I suddenly was responsible for the life, health, and happiness of a helpless child. Like a bolt of lightning, I suddenly fell in love (and I’m talking over-the-top in love) with the child I was carrying inside of me for 9 months. I loved my children when I was pregnant, but meeting my children and looking into their eyes created a whole new kind of love that I had never felt before.

Suddenly, I was no longer the carefree girl who could quit her job at anytime and drive across the country on the open roads. No longer was I the woman who could easily go on a date with her husband whenever I wanted. And no longer was I the woman who had extra time to focus on my health and my needs. Without realizing what was happening, I instantly became the mom who had two choices; I could either forget about self-care or I could consciously commit to finding time for self-care. Self-care suddenly stopped being a nice to have and it started becoming a necessity…a luxurious necessity that I had to fight for.

Six years later, I’m still consciously finding time to incorporate self-care into my life because I understand why it is important and believe in the benefits of making time for self-renewal. Check out what Renee Peterson Trudeau has to say about the power of self-care…

  • “By filling our cups first, we tend to feel more generous and can avoid building resentment toward others who demand our energy and time.
  • Making our self-care a priority is one of the best ways to validate and honor our own worth, which naturally enhances true confidence and self-esteem.
  • Taking care of ourselves on all levels (physically/mentally/emotionally/spiritually) helps us feel alive and whole, able to function at our best and do all the things we want to do.
  • Practicing self-care and being loving and gentle toward ourselves helps us to be more present and calm, so we can respond wisely, intuitively and effectively to a variety of circumstances.”

Why Do You Believe in the Power of Self-Care?
How does self-care serve you?


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Showing 2 comments
  • Hey Stacey, I love your blog, you’re very interesting, i found a lot of inspiration by reading your blog. Self care is something that a lot of young women need to take note of.

  • Marketa

    Hi Stacey. Your blog reminded me so much of myself. When my children were babies and toddlers I did in fact give everything to them while giving nothing to myself. Now that they are 8 and 6, I have improved in the area of self-care, but still have a ways to go. I am finally learning to take care of them AND myself once again!