Shattered.

My heart still feels shattered.

Inspired by Mr. Lady’s words “I am numb and I am aching and I don’t know what to do except to write it out,” I sit here trying to get the right words out when I know there are no right words.

Like most elementary school moms, I got my little ones to school this morning. I had a heavy heart and at the same time felt so blessed that my school was full of life and full of children’s smiles, when I know darkness has fallen so greatly onto Newtown.

And when I thought my heart could not be shattered more than it was, I found out that a fellow social media mom, VDog, lost her nephew, Noah Pozner, Friday morning at Sandy Hook Elementary. I did the only thing I knew to do, which was Google VDog, send her love on Twitter, and see how I could help. I don’t know VDog personally, but I knew I wanted to help anyway I possibly could.

  • I read everything I could about Noah.
  • I donated money to help cover the costs for Noah’s funeral.
  • I sent (and continue to send) love and light to Newtown.
  • As requested, I am visualizing hearts being held and healed. I am taking quiet moments to open my heart to those children and families and staff and the world.

And I am also doing what I usually do when I am stricken with sadness…I turn to music.

Noah, the youngest Newtown victim, was Jewish. So this morning I am starting my day singing Mi Shebeirach (a special prayer for healing) for Noah’s family, all of the survivors, and all of the families and friends impacted by the unthinkable event. I also sing the Mourner’s Kaddish for Noah Pozner and all of the other victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy.

You can join me in singing Mi Shebeirach and saying the Mourner’s Kaddish by watching the videos below.

Mi Shebeirach

In this time of sorrow, I also want to share these beautiful words from the late Debbie Friedman:

We are powerful.  It is hard to remember that.  Sometimes life takes its turns into the unknown and presents us with challenges we would have preferred not to encounter under any circumstances. Suddenly we are confronted with our pain.

It is a strange thing that pain creates beauty and potential for healing.  It is hard to imagine that it can provide a foundation for beautiful moments to arise.  We attempt to find a way to manage survival from one minute to the next, as pain becomes the overriding force. When we are experiencing emotional discomfort, we need to find a safe place to express our grief and loss.

The willingness to both offer and receive blessings of healing and well-being allows one who is wounded to transform and unravel their pain. Our pain need not bury us, instead it may elevate us to the point of healing – if we choose to allow it.

It is with this concept in mind that the Mi Shebeirach, the prayer for healing, which is a concise English translation of the traditional prayer, is now available for you. For those who know it and use it, use it in good health. Use it for yourselves, for others, and for those in your lives who do not know it, but may need it.

With this, you become the messenger.  We are not just the recipients of blessings, but the messengers of blessings as well.  Remember, out of what emerges from life’s painful challenges will come our healing. And ultimately, our greatest healing will come when we use our suffering to heal another’s pain – “to release another from their confinement.”

And you shall be a blessing,
Debbie Friedman
(1951 –2011)

Mourner’s Kaddish

 Sending peace to you, to Newtown, and to all the children of this world.

Stacey