Are You Compassionate?
According to Wikipedia, Compassion is the virtue of empathy for the suffering of others. According to Merriam-Webster online dictionary, Compassion is sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.
Do you have empathy for the suffering of others? Do you have the desire to alleviate others’ distress? I’m immediate answer is OF COURSE I DO! I have deep compassion for all children. I have compassion for any human regardless of age or gender that is being physically or emotionally abused. I have compassion for Mother Earth. I wish I could say that I have compassion for negative, angry, grouchy people. But the truth is, I find negative energy contagious, so these negative people make me angry and grouchy. And when I feel angry and grouchy, there’s little room left for compassion.
My million dollar question for the day is…How do I replace anger with loving compassion? If you have an answer, please leave in the comment section below!
Some People Drain Me.
Do you ever find it challenging to listen to a certain person or certain people? You know who I’m talking about, those people that can make you feel negative or annoyed. Those people that drain you instead of fuel you.
I may be evolving, but trust me, I still have some of those people in my life. My energy and my mood are highly impacted if negative people are around me. When I’m around inspiring people, I feel empowered. When I’m around adventurous people, I feel unstoppable. But when I’m around negative people, I feel grouchy, frustrated, and sometimes enraged. It usually results in fight or flight behavior. It’s not pretty.
As you can imagine, I don’t like being around negative people. It doesn’t feel good and I have not mastered the ability to be filled with love and compassion when I am surrounded by negative energy. I’m a work in progress. I’m learning to be the calm within the storm…I’m just not there yet.
Compassionately Listening
As part of my evolving journey, I’m reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s view on compassionate listening. In You Are Here, he says that even if what the person you are talking to says is wrong, sarcastic, irritating, or intending to hurt you, you can be immunized against getting feeling negative as long as you are practicing compassionate listening. He says we can practice compassionate listening by giving the other person a chance to express him/herself…to provide him/her with some relief of their own suffering.
Thich Nhat Hanh suggests telling the person you have a conflict with following:
“Dear friend, I know that you suffer a lot. I have not understood enough of your difficulties and suffering. It’s not my intention to make you suffer more.
It is the opposite. So please tell me about your suffering and your difficulties. I’m eager to learn and understand.”
I think that is great advice and profoundly beautiful. But…I wonder how people would react if I suggested that were suffering. I think a lot of people who are suffering internally are in denial or are not connected with their suffering. I’m concerned that people be insulted if I suggested they were suffering, which would increase the conflict even more.
So in the meantime, when I’m around negative people, I will work on mindfully breathing the entire time I me listening and will try to remember to keep the following intention that I am listening in order to make it possible for him/her to express him/herself and suffer less. I am also going to work on using the mantras in the video below.
