I am taking a ten day vacation away from my computer. I’ll be back next week.
This is a guest post from Jay Frawley at Inner Noodle. Jay is a dream coach, a champion for gratitude, and he inspires me to imagine like a child.
Read more from Jay on his blog, Inner Noodle, on Twitter, or subscribe to his rss feed.
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“Life is what happens when you are making other plans.”- John Lennon
Plan to live, not to cross off
We all have one life to live, and while the gurus of productivity are trying their best to get you into a one size fits all system of achieving as much “stuff” as possible, I say throw out the to-do list and start living your life. Your daily schedule should be accentuating your life, not putting your life on the back burner while you cross off six or sixty more to-do list items so you can go to bed exhausted and unfulfilled. There is a better way; here is a hint; the heart knows the way.
Life grows from the heart
We get so caught up with our daily lives we forget one vital part- to actually live our lives. When we leave this rock, our to-do lists are not going to matter, they will rust like everything else we leave behind (cars, houses, crackberrys). In the end, all that matters is how we affected people’s lives for the better. Your heart knows the way to true happiness, and it is not in your daily planner. Last week, Tina asked if I wanted to go to the movies, a past time we truly enjoy, and I admit I looked at my day runner first and thought “I have so much to do though,” but then I saw a symbol on the top right of the page that I put up there first thing every day to remind me to follow my heart before I follow my list. It is a small heart, and it is above the list for the day. I went to that movie and it was a great time. My list waited, it always will.
Live now, there is no do-over
You life is not going to wait for you to finish the never ending list you make every day. It is happening this second. You are using your life right now to read these words, that time has elapsed now, and you will never get them back. In the end, make it about people; make it about making connections, making a difference, making your life full of love. Whenever you get lost in the sea of to-do lists, take out the compass of life; your heart, and follow it faithfully. The destination is always your authentic life.
What about you? Do you get caught up in the daily tasks of a so-called life? What could you eliminate so you can spend more time living?
Read more from Jay on his blog, Inner Noodle, on Twitter, or subscribe to his rss feed.
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[…] Today, I am spending some quality time at Stacey’s great site Create a Balance. She is taking some well deserved time off, and I was honored to be able to help keep things moving over there. We will be discussing putting your life before you to-do list. You can travel there through this cyber warp here. […]
[…] Due to my vacation, this week’s list includes three weeks worth of new members to the CreateaBalance.com community. I’m excited to send a belated welcome to so many people that visited to read Lance’s guest post and Jay’s guest post. […]
Live now, there is no do-over echoes the point that you have to focus on your approach, not just results.
I think the key with approach is living your values and being authentic.
J.D. Meier´s last blog post..Avoid Mental Burnout
Hi Jay, great to see you here! I’m not sure if I’m ready to completely ditch the to-do list (and the truth is really that I rarely use one). I do find there are times when having a list of what I need to do is important. To your point, though, it really is about living life – and listening to your heart. I couldn’t agree more! And that is a great thing to focus on – the relationships – and not the “things” we have to get done. Anytime we can focus more on the people we’re around, that’s a good thing. And that’s my take away from here today – to work on doing a better job of this – I think there’s always room to improve. Thanks much Jay! I’m really going to work on making this idea of relationships more of a focus…
Lance´s last blog post..What Do I Know About Fabric?
Hi Jay!
As soon as I read the quote for this post, another quote immediately came to mind:
“The richness of the human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome.” ~Helen Keller~
I actually seldom use lists except maybe for the grocery store and it’s a limited one…and yes I often forget the very thing I went in there for:)
I agree with you in that being present is the key to life…being aware of our own existence afterall. I am often bemused when we jokingly ask people to remind us to breathe. Breathing? My point exactly! If you need to be reminded to breathe, it’s a sure sign that you need to get a life quick!…I’m just saying…:)
Jay, you continue to inspire me with your great posts! Thank you!
Henie´s last blog post..Can You Tickle Yourself?
The reasons you wrote in your post are the reasons why I haven’t blogged in a bit, or been online much. Taking time to spend with people – today I’m spending a few hours with my nephew having lunch and playing monster mini golf and I can’t wait. I don’t want to leave this world wishing I spent more time with family. The time is now!
I wrote from 6 to 7 this am working on my book, and will do so again this afternoon after time with my nephew and before dinner with my mom. That is what is important. I used to think I was too busy…but that was just an excuse. My most productive days are the ones where I let my heart guide me, not my mind. Have a good one!
I used a to-do list fairly regularly, but part of that list is putting things down that I do for relaxation. If I don’t, I might forget I need time to relax. Well, I might not forget, but it helps me keep track of all the things I want to get done.
It’s hard to get everything done in a day, but having a list does help me stay on track, but I try very hard not to let work dominate my list too much………………….:)
LisaNewton´s last blog post..A Waterfall in my Backyard
Thanks for such a powerful post Jay! Life is about living it to the fullest and lists are meant to help us achieve that goal. We shouldn’t get so caught up in checking off the list that we lose sight of the bigger picture. In fact, I didn’t finish my to-do list for today and I was starting to feel bad about it until my subconscious told me that this feeling is illogical, since I’ve done the best I can within my context and I have tomorrow and forever to continue doing what I set out to do. Funny how all it takes is just a step back to put things into perspective 🙂 Stumbled! 🙂
Celes | EmbraceLiving.Net´s last blog post..25 Brainstorming Techniques
A great reminder to choose to invest our time wisely. We may still have a to do list, but the point is well taken that we can’t let our to do list run our lives.
I took a course a long time ago and the course leader proudly showed us her color coded day timer, booked from waking to going to sleep. I laughed when she pointed out the 30 minutes she scheduled for time with her husband. I love to be incredibly busy, but I will never be so busy I have to squeeze my family into the margins.
Besides, we all need a little white space so we have freedom to “color outside the lines” in our life.
Susan Mazza´s last blog post..THE Best Definition of Leadership…
@ JD- Exactly. A line I like is “Live your life, this is not a dress rehearsal”
@ Lance- No need to completely ditch the to-do list, just never put it before your life. I still use one but I always make sure I remember that it comes second or third or fourth or so on in my life. Life first, to-do list will wait. 🙂
@ Henie- Thanks! We do need the grocery list and on a full stomach!! Great quote!
@ Stacey- That is wonderful Stacey- spending time with the ones we love should always be our biggest priority. That is great that you are finding a better balance between work and family! We do miss you though!
@ Lisa- Never forget to relax!! That should be the first 5 things on your list! We all do so much in a day, that we forget that when we take time for ourselves to relax we are much more productive in the end.
@ Celes- that is great. Guilt is another reason to throw out these to-do list. We are so hard on ourselves when we are not crazy busy all the time- what silliness!! Sometimes the best days I ever had, I only worked for a couple hours- got loads done and then spent the rest of the day with Tina and the animals! Thanks for the stumble!
@ Stacey- see that schedule would make me sad. If we have to pencil in our loved ones, we are not on our heart’s path. Whatever that path is called, I would like to avoid it. 🙂
Jay´s last blog post..Life Lessons from a Japanese Tea Master
I love your idea of putting your heart first on the list!
Very inspirational!
Thanks!
Love and Light To You All!
Diane
Diana- Thank you! 🙂 I am so glad you enjoyed it.
Jay´s last blog post..How to use your Dreams to Achieve Your Dreams
This advice is so needed. I have a new grandson and my son-in-law has to work out of the country for a month. My daughter asked me to come to MI and help her with the new baby throughout the month.
Seeing I live out of state I’ll be flying back and forth on weekends. I could stay home and work because if you want an online biz that’s successful it takes over your life. However I’ll never get to make this time up if I miss it.
I’ll blog less frequently and spend my time cuddling in baby heaven.
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog post..Bold Love for February 14th
Tess- I bet you will not regret this decision for a single second. Enjoy every moment of baby heaven! 🙂
Jay´s last blog post..The Sunday Ponder
This is a great post Jay. I wonder how our lives would change if our “to do” list included things that really mattered to us. What if it was made up of things like “smile at my children, give my spouse a back rub, etc, etc.?” I’m not planning on throwing out my to do list, but I know that it can use some tweaking. Thanks for the reminder.
Jennifer´s last blog post..Beyond Valentine’s Day
Jennifer- No need to throw it out. Heck i have a $50 day runner that is always on me- just remember to throw that little heart on top to remind you of the important things! I think I am going to go offer a back rub to Tina now- thank you for the reminder! 🙂
Jay´s last blog post..The Need To Create a Balance
A wise person once told me, “Laurie, you need to drive your schedule and not let your schedule drive you!” A to-do list is similar. It should be used as a reference so the house doesn’t fall down around us but it shouldn’t drive our lives. We shouldn’t stop living because there is a list somewhere telling us what we should do. There will always be things on a to-do list. One of the things should be to enjoy life a little!
Hi Jay,
I knew you were onto something from the first paragraph, about not living life like a to-do list, or in my case a to-read list. Everytime I check my reader I take at least an hour to go through all the articles. I’m learning to skip more and comment only on articles where I have something to say.
Life comes first. Great reminder!
Daphne´s last blog post..Site Update: Getting Better Everyday
@ Laurie- sounds like a smart person! Enjoy life a little?? No way Laurie- enjoy life ALWAYS!! 🙂
@ Daphne- I am glad you did not skip this one. 🙂
That reader gets pretty full does it not? Stacey wrote a great post about this. We only have so much time in life, lets all spend it wisely.
Jay´s last blog post..Under the Microscope- My Experiance with a Life Coach
Great message!
Each of us needs to remember this every day as the world tries to convince us that we cannot live without the meaningless dribble we are so connected with.
Namaste
Roger´s last blog post..What Is It You Want Most From Life?
Roger- very good point. The meaningless dribble is so loud sometimes! That should be 1st on the list everyday! Thanks Roger.
Jay´s last blog post..Under the Microscope- My Experiance with a Life Coach
Jay,
I see your point, and I agree that life is about more than just schedules, a whole lot more.
That said, I feel compelled to defend the use of schedules to some degree. Schedules, and to do lists, if used effectively, can help to focus upon those things which are most important to you.
I feel that problems can occur during the making of schedules when activities with a significant qualitative value, such as quality time spent with family and friends, are often seen as ‘unimportant’ and therefore given insufficient priority on many to do lists. Actually, these things are important, and should be given their rightful place as a reasonably high priority.
If used effectively, I feel that to-do lists can help to provide us with focus and help us spend more time on things which are more important. They also serve another useful function in that they give us tangible evidence that we are doing worthwhile things with our lives – it is nice to look at all of the things crossed off at the end of a week and see how much one has accomplished.
That said, I do take your point, and to-do lists should be our aid, not our master.
Andrew´s last blog post..Free her – Fiat’s big call on Burma (part 2)
I truly envy you. 10 days without computer is my dream! I work 8 hours daily by my monitor and then couple of hours studying. Well, I like it so it’s not that bad.
@ Andrew- I see what you mean. My worry is too many people live and die by that to-do list. I still use one myself, I just never take it too seriously. I get things done still, but never miss a moment of life when it screams “Hey I am right here!” 🙂
@ Jenna- We all need a break! Stacey certaintly deserves it!
Jay´s last blog post..Under the Microscope- My Experience with a Life Coach
Jay,
I think your approach in using a list but not letting it take over your life seems like a sound idea to me.
Personally, my work as a teacher is fairly straightforward, so I can typically get away with doing one on a weekly basis rather than a daily basis.
I find that having a list actually frees me up to some extent. Once I have written down what I have to do, I am freed from the burden of constantly having to remember everything. I know that I can simply check back to my list as I need to.
Andrew´s last blog post..Three special bloggers
Hi Jay,
To be honest I have started making to do lists for my day only because I sometimes get carried away with one thing like chatting to my friend or cousin for hours on the phone or spending a great deal of time reading interesting blogs and I forget about other important things that I need to do like housework or taking a library book back. I also write shopping lists but get carried away in the shop.
I love Jennifer’s point that our lives would change if our “to do” lists included things that really mattered to us, things related to our family and friends.
Thanks.