This is an original post written by Kristen Card.
You need a date.
That was author, mama and self-care guru Renee Trudeau’s overall message to a roomful of women during a recent one-day self-renewal retreat, held at The Crossings Austin.
You need a date, she said. And she wasn’t talking singlehood or marital familiarity or nookie. She was talking about women and themselves.
You need a date, she said, with yourself. Your Wise Self. The self who is connected to your Heart Center rather than your Monkey Mind. The self who knows what your best life looks like and just how to get you there from here – if only you will pause often and long enough for her to reveal it.
Taking the time to come to the mini-retreat was a beginning, Renee said, a great first date. But to gain the life-changing benefits of real self-care, you must nurture a lifelong relationship with Your Wise Self.
In other words, you and YWS need not just a date, but many of them. Regularly. Forever.
Don’t be daunted – dates with yourself are sooo much easier than dates with other people.
First off, you’re with Your Wise Self, so let her lead. Where does she want to go? A quiet spot is a must, as you want to get to know her, hang upon her every word. Out in nature? a favorite cafe? a museum? What does she want to “talk” about? You might prepare a few questions beforehand, but be flexible enough to go down whatever path she chooses. And make sure you’ve got a journal or notebook and something to write with – it’s the best way to engage her, and she is way wise, so you’ll want to take notes.
Here’s the aha! moment I received at Renee’s retreat: For me, the concept of connecting with Your Wise Self feels so spiritual, it seems like something that should happen organically … like I should know when I need a self-care date the same way I know when I need a drink of water.
But the fact is, our lives are full to overflowing with everything from breastfeeding to facebook, from conference calls to laundry loads. Our daily priorities and distractions easily drown out the small, still voice within. Heck, I don’t even make time to get a glass of water every time I’m thirsty.
So while connecting with YWS might feel spiritual, it requires concrete structure – i.e., an actual date on your real-life calendar. Because if you wait to do it in your spare time … uh, spare time? What’s that? Exactly. You need time put aside just for you and her. Time you treat just as non-negotiably as a doctor’s appointment or a business meeting.
Because your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health and well-being are just as important. [Just ask YWS – she’ll tell you.]
So, I’ve recently added some scheduled time to my weekly calendar to read, journal and listen to My Wise Self, as well as regular artist dates and scrapbooking sessions to spur my creativity, and office organization time to help clear my environment and psyche.
I’m creating a life within which My Wise Self and I can be consistent – and maybe ultimately, constant – companions.
Want the best first date ever with Your Wise Self?
Renee Trudeau is leading an amazing self-renewal weekend retreat April 23-25 at The Crossings Austin, and another August 13-15 at Kripalu Center up in The Berkshires, Massachusetts.
Kristen Card is a mama, entrepreneur, Texan, peacenik, and bigtime believer in the power of women’s circles. She lives in Austin with her sweet husband, two crazy little blessings and two darling pups, and works full-time from her home office as an independent business and marketing writer. Turn-ons include scrapbooking, reading, hanging with the fam, her ipod, her tempurpedic mattress, Hawaii, women’s support, flow and the mute button. Turn-offs include hypocrites, pessimists, Disney’s tween programming, and sadly, tea.
Read her blog, Skirting the Issues [Because “Feminism” isn’t the F-word], at kristencard.blogspot.com.