4 Tips to Creating a Culture of Self-Care at Home

This is an original post written by contributing writer Martine De Luna.

I’ve been working from home for seven months. In those seven months, I have:

• Moved into a new home
• Established a freelance writing business
• Started a small-time tutoring business
• Blogged about how to work from home
• Helped organize and execute a national homeschool conference
• Planned and executed my child’s 1st birthday party
• Joined the steering committee of a national homeschooling advocacy organization
• Conceptualized a brand new magazine for preteens (due for release in June 2010), and became the managing editor for said magazine

Whew.

Thankfully, the work, coupled with my advocacies, have not eaten me up. I refuse to say that they have not eaten me up yet, maybe because I don’t want to jinx my efforts in being able to juggle these aspects of my life. I seriously believe that the reason why I’ve been able to manage the various components of what make up my life as a work-at-home mom is through a culture of self-care and renewal at home.

Self-care, pampering, “me time” or whatever you call it; every mom needs to be able to come into a state of well-being that is concerned solely with giving back to herself. I don’t mean for that to come out as self-absorbed and self-exalting; rather, giving back to yourself as a mom should serve to restore, renew and empower you for your present life.

Create a self-caring culture at home

Being a work-at-home mom, sometimes the lines between work and self-care can get pretty blurred. That’s why, for me, it is so important to be conscious about creating a culture of self-care at home; without it, I would

1. Maintain peaceful surroundings. I have a very Spartan vibe to my home: simple couch, clean lines, cantilevered shelves, a meaningful wall hanging here and there. It’s a habit of mine to constantly purge the house of clutter, whether visible to the eye or hidden away in the cabinets. Keeping the surroundings of my home almost bare has a calming effect on me, which is important since I’m home virtually 24/7.

2. Create sacred spaces. For me, my bedroom is a sacred place. That’s why I don’t mind investing in good quality beddings that exude comfort, relaxation and beauty. I’m the type who’d buy a willowy, cottony, crisp white 500-thread count duvet cover over a new pair of shoes! Taking pains to make sure my bedroom is a haven of calm is part of creating a culture of giving back to myself. Why? Because it’s virtually the only place in my house that is sacrosanct, the “holy of holies”, if you will. In my room, only good things abide: peaceful sleep, restful reading time, soothing meditation, love-making. By keeping my room sacred, clean and uncluttered, I always have a peaceful retreat to escape to when my day isn’t all to peachy as I’d like.

If your home is bigger than my 78-square meter apartment, you’ll probably have the luxury of creating a sacred space elsewhere, aside from your room. It might be your study, your walk-in closet, your garden or your craft room. Whatever you find sacred, make sure you make it a nurturing place, one that will give back to you in more than just function and practicality.

3. Commit to reflect. Often, this is the hardest to do. Anyone can maintain a pristine home, but if that home is wrought with stressful arguments, unresolved fights, and issues that are merely swept under a proverbial rug, then it isn’t much of a home, is it? That’s why time to reflect is necessary to creating a culture of self-care at home.

With me, reflection consists in prayer, meditation and quiet time. Prayer is when I talk to God honestly, and present to Him everything that’s bombarding my mind and my heart; meditation and quiet time means giving a few minutes of my day to myself, to evaluate who I am, to discard anything negative that I’ve been thinking or feeling. For me, this time to reflect is a time for self-betterment.  I need it; otherwise, I might fail in all the responsibilities my life deems for me to take charge over.

4. Pamper yourself. You can either splurge or save on this one; the point is just to make sure your home still has a facet of relaxation. For me, pampering comprises a home service mani-pedi or a good DIY-hot oil treatment, followed by a dessert that I love (Did someone say Chunky Monkey?? Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough?? HAAGEN-DAZS?). Every week, I make sure I do something to make me feel like I’ve given myself a little TLC, no matter how trivial it may seem. After all, when you’re a work-at-home/stay-at-home mom whose day comprises of ten hours in chores, anything that doesn’t have to do with a mop or detergent is luxurious!

Remember: Giving back to yourself isn’t a selfish act; you are really investing in your vocation as a wife and mother. When you are restored and revived, life does seem less of a bore and a routine, doesn’t it?

Martine is new to the ranks of that work-at-home mom. In a perfect world, she would live in a house with green gables, have a kitchen painted in Tiffany blue, and a freezer filled with a lifetime supply of Dreyer’s ice cream. In real life, she is content to practice attachment parenting with her hubby and their son, Vito Sebastian. She blogs on the domestic, the parental and the matrimonial over at The Dainty Mom.